..::|:.: Scattered Words

"in brokeness, I could see, that this was your will for me..." :: Jeremy Camp

5.31.2004

Tell her how you feel.

Was watching a movie tonight (two in three days, I'm on a roll), and one of the characters told another character to "tell her how you feel..." It made me think.

I want to have feelings to tell somebody about someday. It ticks me off that it's first nature to so many guys -- and they don't realize what they have. This is hard to explain, what I'm feeling. Kinda like I'm trapped in a straight jacket -- like everything I want -- everything God put into me -- is just sitting there under the surface, trapped and repressed.

Then, there are the times when I lay down at night and I just picture myself laying in the arms of half-naked guy. Not having sex, but just being held. It's weird, but it's sort of like this sexual dichotomy is starting to wage war inside me. Things are happening. For the first time in my life, I'm really at a loss for words to describe what it's like.